Life, On Scraps

Some Teen Angst Venting I Found In My Clooset From Ages Ag

Grasping on to darkness
because that's all that's left.
Struggling to find reason
in the brutal onslaught
of thoughts and emotions.
Clarity, in its highest form
becomes obsolete,
And the abstract mystifies
and bombards the brain.
Grim insecurities
ascend to the surface,
reeking of vulnerability.
Internal chaos ensues.

Peas Today, Potatoes Tomorrow

[Sidenote: This was supposed to be published days ago, I'm clearly losing my marbles!]

It isn't long before that big mechanized bunch of metal comes grumbling through the back yard to collect the yellowing peas. I must admit, a machine that can drive around a field, pick the peas, shell them, and dispose of the 'waste' -- all within a matter of minutes -- is pretty amazing. However, when I think of the intimate time spent squatting amongst the rows with sore knees and a sweaty forehead, this industrial vehicle loses its wonder. What could possibly be better than spending time outside with the veggies that will soon be on your plate at dinnertime?

A sad fact then comes to mind: hardly anybody (in industrialized countries) gets to experience this.

The closest many of us will ever get to the situation described above is, alas, at the local supermarket -- which is quite an experience in itself. Shoppers are exposed to a slew of goods and produce, most of which come from thousands of miles away, and have to decide what to get. What seems like a fairly ordinary thing on the shopping list can turn into quite the dilemma. Apples. Now which, red apples, green apples... or Grapples? What the hell are Grapples? Oh and should I go with organic apples, imported apples or local apples? Which is better for you, organic or l0cal?

What if we went back in time and ate only what our local soil would support? Would we all die and wither away? Nein. Sure, we wouldn't have half the variety we do now, but I can bet we'd be a whole lot healthier.

We as people need to open our eyes and realize just how out of touch we've become with what we're putting into our mouths. I just skimmed a couple of labels from the ol' pantry, and am seeing some ingredients like hexametaphospate, propylene glycol monoesters of fatty acids, and phenylalanine. Honestly, can anyone tell me off the top of their head what the hell those things are?! Like they say, if you can't pronounce it, you probably shouldn't be eating it.

To conclude, I should probably say that eating local can be a pretty expensive and difficult thing (I lasted about 16 hours going completely local, couldn't keep going without salt or olive oil in my food!). But, it isn't impossible. With some good research, commitment, and maybe something as lovely as this for you city slickers, it can be done.

"Welcome to the working world," they said.

To which I replied, "I'm not a fan."

A few weeks ago I started this lovely (not) job as a maintenance worker at the local water slides. It pays a solid $8.00 and hour, but beggars can't be choosers, right? The majority of my shifts consist of wiping down tables, picking up garbage, and sweeping used pads and tampons off the floor of the girls washroom. Yum. It is indeed one of the grossest things I've done, but I think that after a while you sort of become immune to it.

Anyways, I've realized a few things.

1. They really aren't lying when they say it is important to get an education.

Perhaps I've been too naive. I honestly thought I could just wing it after highschool and somehow float through life. Actually scratch that. What they actually mean is it is important to get an education if you want a well paying job.

2. I do not like so much structure in my life.

Being a teenager, you can't really expect much from a job. The crappy shifts, the low pay, the flunkie-ing around, it's all part of the experience. This job is to save up for my world traveling extravaganza, and I can tolerate that. But, when I eventually (if ever) grow up, I am can almost certainly guarantee you that I will be freelancing it up. No 9-5 job for me. No sir. The routine is already beginning to eat away at me, and I've been at it for a whopping 21 days.

Phew. That took way longer to type than it should have.
I am so out of shape that I'm too tired to type.

Jess.

Just Some Photos

Alrighty, so life is craaazily hectic lately. Thought I'd just add some photos of mine! =)

My Current Inspiration: Fleet Foxes

Do you ever find those bands that somehow change everything?
I don't know if you've heard of 'em, but Fleet Foxes are, in my opinion, one of those bands. A friend told me about them in the fall (which would be a perfect time to listen to them), but I never looked them up until a few weeks ago. I don't even know what to say about them! Unlike a lot of stuff on the radio these days, their lyrics have substance, and their sound is unique. To describe them is rather difficult, but just imagine this:

You're in the woods. It's pouring rain, and the heavy droplets that land on you are infused with evergreen; they filtered down through the branches, carrying with them the christmasy aroma. There is nothing but you, the animals, and the trees. Beneath the soles of your feet, you notice a rhythmic vibration pulsing through the damp earth. Melodies seep out of the tree bark, and the animals sing along. Nature dances.

Or, instead of imagining that, you can go to their msypace page ( http://www.myspace.com/fleetfoxes ) and check out some of their tunes! While I do love all that I've heard from them, my personal favourites are 'Mykonos,' 'Blue Ridge Mountains,' 'Tiger Mountain Peasant Song,' and 'Heard Them Stirring.'

Thanks for reading,

Jess

A Little Bit of Wisdom

There is a teacher at my school. And not just any teacher. In my whole seventeen years of life, he is, by far, the most extraordinary man I have ever encountered.

Mr. X, I'll call him, comes from a time when Jefferson Airplane rocked the radio and love, drugs, and free-thinkers were plentiful. His beard, he says, has been on his face since the time he was able to grow it, and the twinkle in his eyes remind me of a leprechaun -- cheerful and mischevious. While teaching (he's a graphic & media arts teacher by the way), he'll drop in tidbits of his life story, but seal his lips if inquire any further. We've told him countless times that he should write an autobiography, but he just chuckles and shakes his head.

My friends and I have made an attempt, but only have a few peices of the puzzle. I'll fill you in on some of the deets:

- He was, in his own words, "a precociuos young boy, and started developing photographs by the age of 8 or 9" in his fathers darkroom.

- He was there during the Quiet Revolution in Quebec

- While on a one-way train to nowhere, met a girl from a commune of nudists and stayed with them for a short while. Turns out he wasn't a fan of all the nakedness, and was on his way.

- Had a Mexican juggler as a roommate who quite frequently dropped the eggs with which he practiced all over the floor.

- Travelled all the way to France to recapture the heart of his true love, only to find out she got married the week before.

- Has had some exceptional photo exhibitions, and admittedly, some complete failures.

- Knows a whole lot about printing presses.

- Says he became a teacher to make sure we don't turn out the way he did.

- When asked about his past, frequently states that "Oh come on, I don't remember ANY of the sixties!"

Anyyyyyyways, now I should probably pass on the bit of wisdom he recently shared with us.

Lately, I've had thoughts of doubt towards my dream of pursuing a creative career. I worry that I haven't a niche to set myself apart from others, and would end up really going nowhere. I know I'm artistically inclined, but I'm definetly no Picasso, Frost, or Emerson. It wasn't until Mr. X casually stated, "And remember class, it's all been done before, but not by you!"

Everything clicked. And so simple to boot! It's all a recreation of something old, just modified with your own personal touch. There is no need to worry about tailoring your art/life to what somebody else would like. Just do it your way. That's what all the other guys did, is it not? They took something and ran with it. Besides, things that are done with genuine passion are often the things that shine through the most, are they not?

An Introduction To Me.

Hello!

My name is Jess.

For quite some time, I've been looking for a single place to keep all the things that go on in my head. An outlet. You see, loose-leaf paper can only go so far -- I've got sheets of it scattered throughout my bedroom, my binders, my locker, and in just about any nook or cranny I come across. I made a half-hearted attempt at youtube, but being on video wasn't really my thing, so I think this blog may really be the answer!

Anyways, here are some tidbits about myself:

- I'm seventeen
- My dream is to live life vagabonding across the world
- Last year, my friends and I completely shaved our heads for cancer
- Music & Nature are my biggest motivators
- My biggest passions include photography, reading & writing, and most especially, doodling
- I love pretty much all food, but I'm not a big sweet fan
- I could spend hours researching the Paranormal, Ouija boards, ghosts, seances, and psychics
- I'm a pisces, and yes, I do read horoscopes daily =)

Lastly, I should probably mention that seeing as school is not over, and exams are yet to be taken, my posts on here could be infrequent and inconsistent. Feel free to leave a comment if you'd like!